Hello “29” …
The final year of the most glorious, confusing and messy decade of my life. From ratchet wildness in dive bars to discussing Syrian refuges at sophisticated and elaborate dinner parties. Does anyone else realize that your 20’s are a decade of extremes? I’ve gone from hot-boxing the Ford Focus (still miss that car) and eating Ramen Noodles without a care in the world, to 6am yoga classes and a Whole Foods bill that would make my 21 year-old self gasp.
This is not your green-juice-and-yoga inspired post. This is a raw and a very real reflection of a blissfully awkward decade: my 20’s. I always wondered why people have such a constant need to talk about themselves with such ease and openness. I feel silly and strange telling people about my feelings or thoughts. I think, “What do they care?” But I now realize there is a certain release in shedding some layers and exposing your deepest thoughts. To put it in the words of my 24-year old self, “f*ck it, let’s be real”.
So here it is! Putting it out there straight up, with no chaser. Judgment-ridden readers not welcomed. Please head back to your carefully curated timelines.
Our 20’s have lust, love, and passion along with heartbreak, loss, and confusion. Let’s face it, I spent a whole college year trying to figure out how to get drunk without being too sloppy – talk about confusing. I also guilelessly drank Red Bull. I’ll thank my very expensive, private college degree for that one; glad I could learn a thing or two. Interestingly enough, a couple of years later, I began the very conscious effort to step into a more sacred space within myself, which , in turn, has led to a serious growth spurt. Talk about the contrasts.
As I enter into this last year of my 20’s, I’m left to wonder: where do I go from here? Now that I have had reckless nights turn into mornings and incredibly empowering self-discovering moments…What is the grand lesson of this sinful and magnificent decade? Do I stick to nights of meditation and consider I’m just getting too old to do the “Whip and Nae Nae” all night?
ABOSO-FUCKING-LUTELY NOT. The truth is, I am thrilled that 27 and 28 has led me into becoming (hopefully) a gorgeous being of light – yet I embrace the parts of me that are still 21 and 22 . And guess what?…I’M OKAY WITH THAT. The most important lesson so far, is that it’s going to ALWAYS be okay. My early 20’s were about getting people to like me. Now, I’m all about, “This is me, like me or not., who the hell cares because frankly, I’m trusting the process.” I AM stepping into a power that is getting to be less and less “ego power” and increasingly more a self-less and tolerant power. Ah, yes, tolerance for my own mistakes because, let’s face it, if my 20’s were to be summed up in one sentence it would be, “A decade of ups and downs, where the downs have been the reasons for the life-changing ups.”
We all have a responsibility to be beings of love, tolerance and positivity. For some, this doesn’t happen overnight and can take a lifetime. However, I’m astonished at the growth my 20’s have ushered in. No, I don’t have my shit together all the time and I’m not sure I ever will. That’s the beauty of this decade: you look back and see the contradictions, inconsistencies, and freedoms and try to squeeze every moment for its heroic lesson.
So here’s to “29” and to all my fellow lovely and gorgeous 20-somethings as we gallop through this decade wondering how truly amazing it is to be both reckless and full of awareness in such a short period of time. Move over, Adelle, I’m waxing poetic on this one!
Now excuse me while I go “Whip and Nae Nae” my way through 29!
When was it ever cool to take a bathroom photo? Oh the poor decisions of a 21 year old. Check out the T-Mobile Side Kick on the counter.
Thank you to this crew for the judgement-free nights in Europe. Lace-cropped leggings?
My greatest challenge and teacher of my 20’s…Thank you!
Getting deep, finally.
It is interesting, how you feel an important step into your last year of your 20. You are amazing and talking about yourself is a gift to us who are on our journey to ….. thank you for sharing. I love you .
Thank you Katia. So happy you took the time to read it. 🙂
Awesome and honest reflection. You are so wise beyond your years !